Boehner: Ted Cruz is “Lucifer In The Flesh”, A “Miserable Son Of A B*tch”

Former Speaker of the House and Ohio Representative John Boehner spoke at Stanford last night, using the opportunity to tear into his former colleague and doomed Republican presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX). “He’s Lucifer (Satan/Shaitan) in the flesh!” said the man who organized the House’s obstructionist campaigns against President Obama. “I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”

It’s a tough blow for the Texas Senator and avowed religious extremist as he tries to cobble together some kind of deranged coalition to stop the nigh-inevitable ascension of rabble-rousing demagogue Donald Trump to the Republican nomination. Yesterday, Cruz brought on fellow anti-choice extremist, disgraced CEO and gender-traitor Carly Fiorina to join his bizarre alliance with the ravenous appetite of Ohio Governor John Kasich, who appears to remain in the race solely to stuff himself like he’s about to hibernate for winter since he hasn’t actually won any states except his own.

But there is no getting around the fact that Ted Cruz is one of the most despicably selfish bastards to ever darken the hallowed halls of the United States Senate. Where even to begin dissecting the festering, soulless, maggot-ridden carcass of a person that is Ted Cruz? What is there to say of a man so driven by his own ambition that he will say or do anything to get what he wants? The kind of man who the newspapers in his home state derided as a “nightmare,” saying that “the dislike the man engenders is so intense it’s hard to find a historical precedent for it.”

Cruz is a pathological liar who calls President Obama a “communist” for bringing affordable healthcare to millions of Americans, filling the heads of his reluctant supporters with utterly baseless lies of about “all the jobs killed” by Obamacare that the media somehow never calls him out for. The man who shut down the government in 2013 and wasted $25 billion in taxpayer dollars in a failed effort to kill the Affordable Care Act.

He’s a man who once told his friend that her mother was a hell-bound whore for having an abortion because she couldn’t afford more children. He keeps perpetuating the horrific lie that Planned Parenthood “harvests baby parts” and incites his followers to violence against the beloved healthcare organization, then tries to dismiss the Colorado Springs Planned Parenthood shooter as a “transgender leftist.” Terrified of human sexuality, he once tried to ban sex toys in Texas and argued there was no legitimate reason for masturbation.

He’s the kind of man that goes to the beleaguered town of Flint, Michigan, to hand out bottles of clean water only to anti-abortion groups, then returns to Washington to block the bill that would have dispensed emergency funds to the state. He also voted against distributing FEMA funds after Hurricane Sandy, but somehow had no problem going to beg for money after his state got flooded last year.

Shall we keep going? He has made the fight for “religious freedom” a central platform of his campaign – but that translates to “the straight white cisgender male’s right to discriminate against other demographic groups.” He is a huge supporter of the discriminatory anti-LGBT bills in Southern states that punish our citizens for failing to conform to his draconian worldview. A strict “constitutionalist” who regularly calls for unconstitutional demands, like saying that we should be “monitoring Muslim neighborhoods” on the basis of their religion. He’s a disgusting hypocrite whose own father was a political refugee but would close our own borders to Syrian refugees fleeing unimaginable violence in their home countries. While he holds his “Christian values” very close to heart, he has no problem with calling for the bombing of the Middle East until “the sand glows” which would certainly cause thousands of civilian deaths.

I could go on for days, honestly. While Boehner was a tad out of line – Ted Cruz’s mother could never have known that her womb was capable of producing such vile, loathsome vermin – he was correct in the spirit of his assessment. Ted Cruz has spent his entire life making the lives of others harder, shaming them for their natural desires, and is willing to sacrifice the well-being of millions for his own personal ambitions. There really aren’t any words that can properly describe just what an reprehensible degenerate he truly is – certainly none that can be printed here – but I gather you get the gist of it. People like Ted Cruz are why the concepts of “the Devil” exist in the first place.

 

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Colin Taylor

Colin Taylor is the managing editor of Occupy Democrats. He graduated from Bennington College with a Bachelor's degree in history and political science. He now focuses on advancing the cause of social justice and equality in America.


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