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Paranoid Gun Owner Shoots Teen For Ringing His Doorbell

Paranoid Gun Owner Shoots Teen For Ringing His Doorbell

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In the world of gun-crazed paranoia that the Republicans have created, even innocent pranks can lead to gunshot wounds. In Pryor, Oklahoma, a fourteen-year-old boy was shot multiple times early New Year’s Day as he and his friends were playing a harmless prank by ringing doorbells and running away. And the shooter hasn’t even been charged!

The victim, Cole Peyton, is a freshman at the local high school. He’s a football player, wrestler, and is on the Honor Roll, and his coach describes him as “a great kid to be around.” He and his friends were ringing in the new year with a little game of “ding dong ditch” – ringing doorbells and running away, a prank that is at least as old as doorbells. Although most likely an annoyance, nobody expected that it would drive a local resident to begin firing at the young pranksters. Police were called in to respond to a “home invasion,” but they quickly realized that it was nothing more than some innocent youthful pranks.

“Currently, the investigation suggests that the juveniles were engaged in neighborhood pranks and not attempting to break into the residence,” said Police Chief Steven Lemming. According to Peyton, the shooter simply yelled “Hey” before opening fire on the young boys, hitting Peyton in the back and in the liver, while he and his friends tried to run away. Peyton is recovering at a Tulsa hospital.

In a shocking and disgraceful turn of events, the police are investigating the incident but have so far failed to arrest the shooter, as they are not sure that the homeowner was breaking the law. Yet it seems inconceivable that shooting an unarmed boy as he’s running away could possibly qualify as defending oneself or one’s home. Once again, America shows itself to be the only developed nation where you can shoot an innocent child in the back and not even be charged with a crime.

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