Trump’s campaign is getting desperate for cash, and they’re about to sucker thousands of Republicans into making a donation, likely without any way to stop recurring charges by the campaign.
The latest fashion in absurdist Republican politics is only available to Trump’s most gullible supporters who donate over $100 or more. then they too can become card carrying “Gold Executive Card Members” of a campaign led by the flailing frontman of fascism and racism. Luckily, they started the campaign aimed at values voters like members of the American Nazi Party or supporters of the KKK’s top candidate for Senate, who truly love Trump’s divisive platform, so for a limited time, they can buy some ten-cent, shiny membership plastic for the bargain price of 65% off ($39.99 S&H). It’s conveniently also the fastest way for the fascist’s supporters “out” themselves, which all accounts posted to the internet say is a painful experience.
At least the Trump campaign is making a logical choice for once, to steeply discount the junk they’re selling on the first day’s it’s out, ever since the latest polling has been dominated by Hillary Clinton and her never-ending post Democratic National Convention ascension in the polls.
Behold the latest Trump scam, and we would only call this Gold Executive Card Membership card a scam because it uses actually misleading advertising language claiming that there’s some form of exclusivity besides being a sucker and easily parted from one’s money to fund the billionaire Republican’s “self-funding” campaign this fall:
Might be my fave fundraising email pitch yet: The Trump Card. An "executive membership card," no less. pic.twitter.com/c1UsLrd5n9
— John Myers (@johnmyers) August 9, 2016
Now, we’ll be able to use Trump’s garish Executive Membership cards to distinguish Vichy Republicans from their appeasing conservative Republican cousins found in Glenn Beck’s timbuktu of desperation and conspiracy theorists.
We have passed the point of “are you f-ing kidding me?” pic.twitter.com/oEgQtNw1XE
— Ben (@BenHowe) August 9, 2016
Just remember, not everyone is eligible for “Executive Membership,” says the ad’s pitch, “It’s a power, duty and responsibility,” written in similar fashion to Trump University’s immodestly false claim that enrollment in the purported billionaire’s con was also somehow limited, requiring admission and screening.
"Please know that not just anyone is eligible for Executive Membership. It’s a power, duty, and responsibility…" pic.twitter.com/DPk5pCw1Pw
— Miriti Murungi (@NutmegRadio) August 9, 2016
Some twitter users think that it might convey a free bankruptcy or some other candidate appropriate benefit.
— Vince Kesavamoorthy (@VinceKes) August 9, 2016
— Stan Moroncini (@StanMoroncini) August 9, 2016
Who really wants to be a card carrying member of the racial hate, religious discrimination and oligarchy party? If you answered yes, then the Trump Campaign is ready to sell you a tacky piece of shiny gold plastic, which will guarantee you entry into the the only part of America that is great again, where you may cast aside all care for your fellow man, and get your hate screed or to get your fist fight on in full view of the world.
Get it now, before the next poll comes out and they drop the price of Trump’s Gold Executive Club Membership yet again.
What do you think?
Grant Stern is an Editor-At-Large and Podcast host for OccupyDemocrats. He's also mortgage broker, writer, community activist and radio personality in Miami, Florida.