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Trump Can’t Find Inauguration Performers. His Excuse Is So Pathetic

Trump Can’t Find Inauguration Performers. His Excuse Is So Pathetic

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Donald Trump has been forced to back off from what we all know he wanted to be the most tremendous and fantastic inauguration ceremony in the history of America to prove once and for all to the haters and losers that he is in fact a minor deity. But the refusal of everybody who isn’t a sixteen-year-old America’s Got Talent to perform at Trump’s inauguration has prompted a different response from our president-elect.

Trump has now announced he will be having a “strictly traditional” inauguration. A source told TMZ that “the Prez-elect is ‘obsessed’ with energising American business and industry … the parties just aren’t his thing. We’re told he doesn’t think it’s important to have big names perform.”

Trump’s camp previously announced that Sir Elton John would be playing at the inauguration – he won’t be – and has had a hard time finding anybody not named Ted Nugent to play anything for the occasion. He also allegedly offered ambassadorships to agents if they could find him some A-list talent.

Judging that previous reports had Trump arriving in dramatically by helicopter, this is an abrupt turnaround that highlights the lengths to which Donald Trump’s ego controls him. Ever the spoiled child, Trump has decided he never really wanted it to be that great in the first place, so there, America! He never wanted you to come to his party anyway.

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