At the conclusion of the most surreal remarks ever given by an American president to the Central Intelligence Agency, Donald Trump’s
Press Secretary Minister of Propaganda held a press conference in which he too attempted to convince the American people that the crowds at Trump’s inauguration were in fact the biggest bestestest crowds ever seen, called out the media as liars, and bent over backwards in his outrageous attempt to gaslight the American people into disbelieving their own lying eyes.
“This was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration, period“ said Spicer, which couldn’t be further from the truth. As CNN noted with a proverbial eye-roll, “Aerial photos have indicated that former president Barack Obama’s first inauguration attracted a much larger crowd. Nielsen ratings show that Obama also had a bigger television audience.”
Twitter immediately began savaging the sycophantic yes-man for his ridiculous assertions, and the results are hilarious:
" All those empty spaces were just 'Designated Breathing Zones' to maintain oxygen levels – because so many people."https://t.co/9ZmywFAE4k
— Imraan Siddiqi (@imraansiddiqi) January 22, 2017
Sean Spicer getting very upset with the media for not reporting that Trump put up a 28/13/11 triple double against the Rockets yesterday.
— David Roth (@david_j_roth) January 21, 2017
Sean Spicer announces Redskins won the 2016 World Series.
— Josh Gartner (@JoshGartner) January 22, 2017
President Trump's hands are the "largest hands to ever exist, period." – Sean Spicer pic.twitter.com/KtEWtB1KPR
— Steve Kim (@Fobwashed) January 22, 2017
"Sean Spicer didn't have a choice." – CNN's Erin Burnett, who apparently doesn't know how choices work
— Seth Abramovitch (@SethAbramovitch) January 22, 2017
Sean Spicer represents the Lollipop Guild.
— tanks for the memories (@RaisingOneBrow) January 22, 2017
I work in political PR. I spin all the time. What Sean Spicer did today was Soviet-style propaganda mixed with lugenpresse Nazi tactics.
— Eric Schmeltzer (@JustSchmeltzer) January 22, 2017
— Caroline Orr (@RVAwonk) January 21, 2017
According to Sean Spicer, most of the people in Trump's inaugural crowd were cleverly disguised as bleachers. #Gaslight
— Gina Melton (@GinaMelton60) January 22, 2017
Thought I was sitting on my futon by myself, but Sean Spicer just announced that there are actually 400,000 of us sitting on my futon.
— Pedro Baez Fan Club (@PedroBaezFanClb) January 22, 2017
Sean Spicer lacks the guts or integrity to refuse orders to go out and lie. He is a failure in this job on his first full day.
— Brian Fallon (@brianefallon) January 21, 2017
From now on Sean Spicer will commence all press conferences by bursting through a wall yelling OH YEAAAHHHHH
— CockedAndLoadedHat (@Popehat) January 22, 2017
Hey @seanspicer I am at a matinee of Paterson & there's like 6 people here. Is this the biggest crowd ever for any movie, period?
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) January 21, 2017
Crowd size, hand size, penis size–the new administration is a quivering tower of insecurity.
— Susan Hasler (@SusanHasler) January 22, 2017
At this point, laughing is the only thing we can do before the realization that this is just the FIRST DAY really sets in.
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Opinion columnist and former editor-in-chief of Occupy Democrats. He graduated from Bennington College with a Bachelor's degree in history and political science. He now focuses on advancing the cause of social justice and equality in America.