One of the funniest running themes of the Trump administration is the way that White House insiders recount to reporters how they have to step on eggshells around the president, coddling POTUS like he’s an overgrown child lest he throws a tantrum when exposed to displeasing information or watches too much cable TV.
Daniel W. Drezner at the Washington Post assembled and curated a list of Toddler Trump’s greatest hits, and they really hit home just what kind of a deeply insecure, perpetually moody, and intellectually lazy president we’ve somehow elected to the Oval Office.
Drezner wrote that he and his team assembled the list to counteract the “the occasional impulse by Very Serious People to claim that some speech or act by Donald Trump proved that he was “growing into the presidency.”
It’s appropriate we reflect on Trump’s incompetence since we will likely be having a Very Serious Person Moment tonight after President Trump reads a speech that somebody else wrote off of a teleprompter in which he discards all the anti-war rhetoric of the campaign trail by announcing the deployment of yet another massive troop deployment to Afghanistan.
If the past tells us anything, some idiot pundit will declare tonight that “Trump Looked Very Presidential Tonight” and really “Seems To Be Adapting To The Office” just because he successfully fulfilled one of the most basic duties of the presidency (the creation of arms markets and the exacerbation of international conflicts on behalf of American weapon manufacturers).
He will do this even though there’s absolutely no evidence that this surge will accomplish anything more than the last deployments did, and a great deal of evidence that it will simply perpetuate the interminable conflict that slaughters innocent Afghans by the thousands and perpetuates the instability the allows for the mass production of Afghan opium and the flooding of the world with heroin.
He will do this because he is an overgrown toddler who cares nothing for governance and nothing for the nation beyond appeasing his own personal desires and filling his wallet.
We present to you, Toddler Trump’s Greatest Hits.
President Trumpy Needs A Nappy Nap
— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) May 5, 2017
Old Man Literally Yells At Television:
— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) May 10, 2017
President Big Boy Wants TWO SCOOPS:
— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) May 11, 2017
President Trump Doesn’t Pay Attention In School:
— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) May 15, 2017
Little Donnie Doesn’t Know Basic Table Manners:
— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) May 16, 2017
Reading Is Dumb And I Hate It! Yells Trump Before Reaching For A Picture Book:
— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) May 17, 2017
Old Man With Nuclear Weapons Sometimes Wants To Blow Everything Up
— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) May 20, 2017
The Parent-Teacher Conference Does Not Go Well
— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) June 9, 2017
Your Honor, He’s Too Dumb To Not Implicate Himself
— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) June 15, 2017
No Means Yes
— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) July 23, 2017
Colin Taylor is the editor-in-chief of Occupy Democrats. He graduated from Bennington College with a Bachelor's degree in history and political science. He now focuses on advancing the cause of social justice and equality in America.