The leader of the free world, commander-in-chief of Earth’s most powerful military, guardian of the U.S. Constitution, president of the world’s greatest democracy has some important thoughts he’d like to share with us all: the new iPhone swipe feature just isn’t his cup of tea.
As his administration bends and folds beneath the increasing pressure of his impeachment inquiry, Donald Trump took the time to address Tim Cook (who the president mistakenly referred to as “Tim Apple” in the past) on Twitter. He informed the CEO of the tech giant that “The Button” on older versions of the iPhone was “FAR better” than the new swipe feature.
The president’s complaint centers around the updated interface utilized by the iPhone X and XI. Rather than the tactile home button that older generations have, the newer versions of Apple’s incredibly popular phone use a touch interface. Clearly, Trump finds this update so unsatisfactory that he felt the need to blast his thoughts out to his 66 million+ Twitter followers.
Perhaps his little fingers simply aren’t adept enough to use the newer phones, or maybe the sweat that presumably coats them as his presidency implodes around him makes it impossible for him to interact with the touch screen.
Whatever the reason, the fact that he took time out of his day to whine like a petulant child on Christmas who discovers they haven’t received the gift they wanted demonstrates once again how completely out of whack this president’s priorities are. It’s as genuinely funny as it is pathetic.
Unfortunately for our tech-illiterate president, he failed to tag Tim Cook (@tim_cook) in his tweet. That said, the explosion of mockery around his complaint is quickly gaining steam and it’s surely only a matter of time before Cook learns of it.
To Tim: The Button on the IPhone was FAR better than the Swipe!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 25, 2019
As is so often the case when Trump tweets out something as abjectly moronic as this, jokes at his expense immediately began pouring in.
Wow! Technical feedback from the guy who can't operate an umbrella.
— Translate Trump (@TranslateRealDT) October 25, 2019
fat fingers huh
— lvl 45 CHAOS GHOSTUS (@thetomzone) October 25, 2019
Too easy to butt-dial now?
— HumanScumHat (@Popehat) October 25, 2019
$10 you’re holding the tv remote control
— Adam Parkhomenko (@AdamParkhomenko) October 25, 2019
To Donald: You're being impeached.
— Deep State LeGate ™ (@williamlegate) October 25, 2019
paging Tim Apple
— Jeff Lewis (@ChicagoPhotoSho) October 25, 2019
Yes, some especially dim people have found the transition challenging. For a few seconds.
— Michael Marshall Smith (@ememess) October 25, 2019
To Donald: The last President of the United States was FAR better than this Asswipe.
— Danny Deraney (@DannyDeraney) October 25, 2019
To Donald: resign & go to jail.
— Angela Belcamino (@AngelaBelcamino) October 25, 2019
Thumbs too small again? Bummer.
— Sarah Wood (@sarahwoodwriter) October 25, 2019
Rob Haffey is a writer, filmmaker, and winner of the ScreenCraft Writing Fellowship. He is a graduate of Drexel University.