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Trump reveals development of a “super duper missile” in cringey Oval Office event

Trump reveals development of a “super duper missile” in cringey Oval Office event

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On Friday, President Trump held an event in the White House to celebrate the creation of the Space Force, the latest tentacle to spawn from the overfed leviathan that is the United States military. After the unfurling of the flag and logo (which was obviously cribbed from Star Trek)  and some remarks about what a historic day it was, the president appeared to reveal the development of what he chose to call a “super-duper missile.”

Inexplicably choosing to describe the device as a six-year-old would, this missile apparently can travel up to seventeen times the speed of a regular missile.

When pressed for comment, the Pentagon referred the media back to the White House, making it unclear if the president had just revealed classified information to the world or if the Pentagon had no idea what he was talking about and the “Super Duper Missile” was a product of his imagination or possibly a reference to a movie he had recently seen.

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The president has famously had a hard time understanding how most technology works, let alone military tech. He appears to be convinced that the F-35 fighter jet is literally invisible to the naked eye rather than difficult to detect on radar, claimed that the noise from windmills causes cancer, and argued that low flush toilets require the user to flush “ten or fifteen times.”

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The White House Press Secretary also had no information on the “super duper missile.”

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