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After The NY Times reports on Republican defections, Trump goes on candidate endorsement spree

After The NY Times reports on Republican defections, Trump goes on candidate endorsement spree

We have the receipts now.

Donald Trump — in a seeming reaction to the front page reports of Republicans abandoning ship as the president’s re-election campaign circles the toilet drain in response to his disastrous handling of both the COVID-19 pandemic and civil protests against police brutality and racism — tweeted out a stream of endorsements for loyal Trump-loving GOP candidates throughout the country this afternoon.

The president didn’t need to look further than right behind him to pick the candidates he chose to endorse since most of them have regularly smooching his behind so vigorously that any hemorrhoids Trump may have had must be seriously inflamed.

Of course, first on the president’s list of reliable sycophants was Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC), who like every other candidate that Trump tweeted about has his “Complete and Total Endorsement,” capitalized to somehow make it seem like he was awarding something akin to the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.

Add your name to tell states and police to reject Trump’s calls to use violence against peaceful protestors!

Naturally, a “Complete and Total Endorsement” by Donald Trump means that the majority of Americans who disapprove of Trump’s job performance of late are more likely to read the president’s support as more of Bad Governance Seal of Condemnation than as any type of certification of qualifications for office.

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Still, Trump dutifully rolled out one “Complete and Total Endorsement” after another for congressional and gubernatorial candidates from South Carolina, Georgia, and West Virginia to North Dakota, New Jersey, and Nevada. Interestingly enough, most of the states where he endorsed candidates are either swing states or have recently become competitive races as the president’s popularity plummets along with the American economy.

One familiar name on the endorsement list and the only candidate who garnered more than a single cookie-cutter tweet was Texas congressional candidate, and former White House physician, Ronnie Jackson.

Apparently, any doctor who testifies to Trump’s good health, great genes, and healthy weight gets the president’s enthusiastic “Complete and Total Endorsement ™.”

After that tedious and repetitious endorsement posting, Trump was seemingly too tuckered out to come up with anything original to say, since his next few tweets were all recycled retweets of his posts from hours earlier.

Don’t worry, though, you have our “Complete and Total Assurance” that he will be tweeting again very soon.

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Either way, we now know how keep score in November to see exactly how much of an attraction — or more likely a repellant — a presidential truly is. We have the receipts for the chits he’s cashing in.

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