The events of the past few weeks have made it very clear that America’s police forces nurse a victim complex almost as large as the one that occupies the majority of Donald Trump’s mental energies.
Some of the weirdest ways they choose to manifest this are by inventing attacks or insults to themselves by way of fast food, like when a Kansas cop claimed that a McDonald’s employee had written “PIG” on his coffee cup and then later admitted that it was fake, or the time a Florida cop accused a Burger King employee of putting “dirt” in his food when in fact it was just seasoning, or the time an Indiana cop accused a McDonald’s employee of taking a bite out of his burger before admitting that he just forgot he’d already started eating it.
Fake or not, the stories are immediately picked up and widely circulated by a bootlicking right-wing propaganda machine that is hungry for any fresh outrage to feed to its rabid fans and promote the absurd conspiracy theory that the Democrat-MS13-antifa-Muslim Brotherhood-barista-industrial-complex hates the cops and is trying to turn America into a lawless wasteland.
The latest incident in cop fast food martyrdom occurred on Monday when an NYPD cop union accused a Shake Shack employee of attempting to poison three officers by putting bleach in their drinks. In a dramatic show of hyperbole, the union wailed that cops cannot “even take a meal without coming UNDER ATTACK.”
BREAKING: Three police officers fell ill as they were drinking milkshakes from Shake Shack in Lower Manhattan.
The Detective’s Union says the officers were “intentionally poisoned”
— Cristian Benavides (@cbenavidesTV) June 16, 2020
After a “thorough” and doubtlessly expensive taxpayer-funded investigation, the police concluded that actually there had been no foul play and someone had just forgotten to rinse the cleaner out of the milkshake machine.
After a thorough investigation by the NYPD’s Manhattan South investigators, it has been determined that there was no criminality by shake shack’s employees.
— Chief Rodney Harrison (@NYPDDetectives) June 16, 2020
But that didn’t stop the right-wing media from continuing to push the narrative that brave hero NYPD cops were under attack by evil antifa milkshake terrorists, even after it had been proven false.
Overrated Shake Shack sucks up to leftists, tolerates poisoning cops, cane can count on you to keep giving it money.
Count me out.
— Kurt Schlichter (@KurtSchlichter) June 16, 2020
This ridiculous incident offers a very telling glimpse into the mindset of New York City cops and the way that their psychotic police unions work overtime to convince each and every one of their officers that the entire world is conspiring against them and doesn’t appreciate what they do. It’s that kind of thinking that makes it easy for them to beat protesters or shoot unarmed people at the drop of a hat — after all, that hat could have been a gun.
It also just goes to show what little value the truth holds to the right-wing when compared with a juicy outrage that is a guaranteed source of hate-clicks and pageviews.
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Opinion columnist and former editor-in-chief of Occupy Democrats. He graduated from Bennington College with a Bachelor's degree in history and political science. He now focuses on advancing the cause of social justice and equality in America.