Last week, right-wing social media and pro-cop outlets howled with wounded rage at the allegations that three NYPD cops had been “poisoned” by their Shake Shack milkshakes, but new reporting indicates that the officers in question didn’t even fall sick and the “we’re under attack because we were cops” story was made up.
“The three cops at the center of the NYPD milkshake “poisoning” scandal never even got sick, and there wasn’t the slightest whiff of criminality from the get-go — but that didn’t stop gung-ho brass from rolling out the crime scene tape and unions from dishing out empty conspiracy theories,” reports the New York Post.
It turns out the cops ordered their shakes online, meaning the workers had no idea that they were cops at all and thus could not have specifically targeted them, as was breathlessly alleged by the New York Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association, who wailed that cops cannot “even take a meal without coming UNDER ATTACK” in a hyperbolic press release.
BREAKING: Three police officers fell ill as they were drinking milkshakes from Shake Shack in Lower Manhattan.
The Detective’s Union says the officers were “intentionally poisoned”
— Cristian Benavides (@cbenavidesTV) June 16, 2020
The cops realized their drinks didn’t smell or taste right, so they threw them away and talked to a manager, who gave them vouchers for free food.
It turns out that the entire “poisoning” charade was orchestrated by their Sergeant, who then “called in the Emergency Service Unit to set up a crime scene at the fast-food joint for an evidence search around 9:20 p.m. — nearly two hours after they first got the sour shakes. The three were rushed to Bellevue Hospital, where they were examined and released without ever showing symptoms,” reports the Post.
It’s obvious that the Sergeant saw the opportunity to feed the NYPD’s victim complex and toss some red meat to the right-wing copaganda machine, which immediately went overboard reporting how antifa leftist baristas were poisoning cops because they hate authority and want our entire nation to be at the mercy of criminals and so on and so forth.
Overrated Shake Shack sucks up to leftists, tolerates poisoning cops, cane can count on you to keep giving it money.
Count me out.
— Kurt Schlichter (@KurtSchlichter) June 16, 2020
Antifa losers threw milk shakes at people like @MrAndyNgo awhile back and were cheered on by blue check “journalists.” Now they’re poisoning police offers with milk shakes. Expect more of this. There are no adults on the Left anymore. pic.twitter.com/Xx5FMcx9Qj
— Dave Rubin (@RubinReport) June 16, 2020
But it was all a lie.
If the past few weeks has taught us anything, it’s that the police cannot be trusted to report anything accurately. If they are out here inventing wildly petty crimes just to make themselves look like victims, think of what they would say or do to protect themselves from accountability after killing an innocent person.
Opinion columnist and former editor-in-chief of Occupy Democrats. He graduated from Bennington College with a Bachelor's degree in history and political science. He now focuses on advancing the cause of social justice and equality in America.