From the White House down, Republicans are growing increasingly frantic about the election. We’re still counting the votes in several key states but at this point it seems likely that Joe Biden will be announced president-elect sometime today. President Trump has predictably been throwing sporadic fits about such an outcome, alleging all manner of voter fraud and improprieties. He’s even tried to desperately “hereby claim” states that he lost, a strategy that succeeded in netting him nothing but widespread mockery.
Those with a vested interest in another Trump term are resorting to flailing about in vain, unable to accept the inevitable. Harlan Hill—a Republican operative who was dropped by Fox News as a frequent guest after he referred to vice presidential candidate Kamala Harris as an “insufferable lying b*tch” on Twitter—went viral last night after he tweeted out his intention to visit Philadelphia with a “team” because he said: “This is war.”‘
Social media users quickly dogpiled Hill, who has cultivated an attitude for being a generally crude and nasty individual who likes to present himself as an internet tough guy. In reality, he’s an absurd, physically unintimidating goof with a fondness for bowties and the appearance of an overgrown schoolboy. True to form, Hill didn’t take the deluge of jokes at his expense particularly well and lashed out at a reporter, calling her a “c*nt.”
I’m going to Philly tomorrow with a team.
This is war.
— HARLAN Z. HILL 🇺🇸 (@Harlan) November 5, 2020
One Philadelphia Twitter user managed to spot Hill walking through the city today and approached him.
“Yo bro, where’s your army at?” the user asked mockingly. “Yo bro!” he repeated, audibly trying to stifle a laugh. Hill eventually turned around to face the man. Rather than displaying the bravado he likes to manufacture on Twitter, Hill seemed docile, even nervous. When asked where his army was, Hill replied in a small voice that he was going to have a “big group.”
Hill then apparently tried to fistbump the man recording, who said “nah” and stepped back. The clip ends with Hill asking him who he’s “with.”
HE FELT THE PRESSURE AND TRIED TO DAP ME UP LOL pic.twitter.com/pcBEVheHt8
— pro bowl mvp (@rynej__) November 5, 2020
I cringed so hard reading this 🥴 https://t.co/emQuH86GkC
— David Hogg 📢 (@davidhogg111) November 5, 2020
Philly… famous for not beating up guys that look exactly like fuckin Harlan over here https://t.co/mEl2BD4bTX
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) November 5, 2020
I don't know who he is, and I don't care, but look at his picture, then think about Philadelphia. https://t.co/NKpvF3ljIw
— Richard M. Nixon (@dick_nixon) November 5, 2020
This dude and the rest of his Lollipop Guild are going to get wedgied to within an inch of their lives in Philly. https://t.co/PQ1CBXjG3d
— Rob Haffey (@rbhaffey) November 5, 2020
buddy you are an old baby
— guy normalman (@bobby) November 5, 2020
Hate to see that America has started using child soldiers https://t.co/LXtWHeCja2
— Build Back Broader (@PrettyBadLefty) November 5, 2020
*spins bowtie threateningly* https://t.co/DOpLV8Rpkl
— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) November 5, 2020
I 'm gonna find you and give you a giant wedgie https://t.co/xoWg7AOYDf
— Bill Corbett (@BillCorbett) November 5, 2020
unfortunately a hotel bellhop just ran over harlan hill with a luggage cart and his trip had to be canceled https://t.co/2gVxa7uFGT
— MIKE GINN (@shutupmikeginn) November 5, 2020
You're made out of cookie dough & a discarded Fleshlight™ held together by painter's tape. Eat shit.
— Kno (@Kno) November 5, 2020
when mommy won't let u have ur birthday at chuck e cheese https://t.co/zpXKdZMzHr
— my pal andy (@andylevy) November 5, 2020
literally any resident of the city of philadelphia, regardless of size, strength or age, could take this man down in one punch https://t.co/JmoPjCxdZd
— lauren (@LLW902) November 5, 2020
Don’t run into your future self while there, Harlan, lest you risk creating a time paradox, the results of which could cause a chain reaction that would unravel the very fabric of the space-time continuum and destroy the entire universe. https://t.co/94xXdJJ7Gp pic.twitter.com/Q7W3yI7ADl
— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) November 5, 2020
Harlan was trampled by a ladybug on his way to the airport. Please allow his family to celebrate in peace. https://t.co/RoDXX4YFCo
— Guy Endore-Kaiser (@GuyEndoreKaiser) November 5, 2020
are you gonna dwive a big twuck?
— link in bio (@broazay) November 5, 2020
— CAZM (@CAZM023) November 5, 2020
this is going to be worse then the time someone in front of harlan took the last brownie at the old country buffet (i mean he's going to fill his pants with even more poo poo) https://t.co/491RPwnoK0
— Goy Division/Jew Order (@ben_geier) November 5, 2020
— 💰TRILLIONAIRE💰 (@maltyhops) November 5, 2020
you aren't going to do shit
— jordan (@JordanUhl) November 5, 2020
what kinda oompa loompa ass reinforcements are you bringing with you
— Carlos Maza (@gaywonk) November 5, 2020