The stench of the Trump family will soon be washed out of the White House as President-elect Joe Biden takes his rightful place in the Oval Office on January 20th. And while the American people will finally be rid of the horror of having a clan of submoronic crooks run their government, one would be a fool to think this is the last we’ll hear from the Trumps.
Presuming they don’t end up in prison for any number of likely crimes, it seems probable that some of the Trump children, specifically Ivanka and Donald Jr., will be fixtures within the Republican Party for decades to come. We may even be unfortunate enough to see one or even both of them launch a bid for the White House. That said, it appears there is at least one prominent Trump who cannot wait to escape the public eye.
CNN reports that First Lady Melania Trump is more than eager to leave 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue for good. In November, she tasked Marcia Lee Kelly—an unpaid volunteer member of her staff—to dig around behind the scenes to find out what kind of taxpayer-funded staff and income she could expect as a former First Lady. One might speculate that her desire to find a revenue stream not tied to her husband’s personal checkbook could indicate that she is at least considering the possibility of leaving him.
What Kelly discovered was that former First Ladies are only given a $20,000 yearly pension and it only activates if her husband dies. While this news was almost certainly a disappointment to Melania, it should come as a relief to the rest of us. The last thing this woman deserves after four years of enabling her evil, disastrous husband is to live out a life of luxury subsidized by our hard-earned money.
“She just wants to go home,” one source close to Melania told CNN. She also seems less than enthused about the prospect of her husband running again in 2024. When asked what she thinks of such an eventuality the source responded simply: “That might not go over well.”
The Trumps intend to move to Mar-a-Lago in Florida where some anticipate Donald Trump will soon go stir-crazy without the eyes of the world constantly upon him. At this point, the man is little more than a walking ego. He’s incapable of contributing anything meaningful or helpful to the world, so it seems inevitable that he will eventually begin scrounging around for ways to recapture the attention he has enjoyed as president.
“[Melania] is aware he is not the kind of ex-President who will retreat to a quiet life of writing his memoir, or taking up oil painting,” one source told CNN. The point about the memoir is particularly unsurprising. Trump can barely read so there’s no way he could write a book by himself.
Regardless of what the Trumps choose to ultimately do after leaving the White House, we can all take solace in the fact that Donald J. Trump and his heartless wife will never see the inside of the Oval Office again after January 20th.
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