The world exhaled a collective sigh of relief yesterday as President Joe Biden was sworn into office and Donald Trump was at long last booted out of the White House. Sanity, stability, and good governance have once again returned to America after four long years in the wilderness and yet already some of the worst offenders of the Trump years are jockeying for the role as their former boss’s heir apparent, apparently eager to return to the ignorance, disaster, and pointless cruelty of the MAGA administration.
Former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo—a religious fanatic who disgraced himself and our nation during his tenure as the United States’ top diplomat by disrespecting our allies and kowtowing to Russia and North Korea in service of Trump’s incoherent, idiotic foreign policy objectives—has somehow convinced himself that he has a shot at the Republican presidential nomination in 2024 despite the fact that nobody appears to be particularly fond of him. He has the intellect of a mud brick and half the charm with no meaningful accomplishments to his name. Still, he’s convinced he has a shot.
This morning, Pompeo blasted out a tweet that simply read “1,384 days,” the number of days until the 2024 election. The tweet is as good as an announcement that Pompeo intends to pursue his party’s nomination and also an indication that he has an absurdly inflated estimation of himself. Who wants to hear from this bloated clown while we’re still celebrating the new Biden administration?
At this point, it seems incredibly unlikely that Pompeo will be able to win a primary, especially with such names as Mike Pence and Donald Trump Jr. being floated as possible (and far more convincing) inheritors to the MAGA crown. It’s much more likely that Pompeo will crash and burn before the Iowa caucuses and find himself remembered by history as nothing more than another embarrassing footnote to the Donald Trump years. This man is a stain on our nation and we’d be insane to let him anywhere near the levers of government ever again.
— Mike Pompeo (@mikepompeo) January 21, 2021
Pompeo’s tweet kicked the hornet’s nest on Twitter and users quickly swarmed him with some much-deserved mockery.
you're pitiful and clocking <1% in pres polls but honestly my main reaction to this is that's a lotta days so basically cry more. bye.
— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) January 21, 2021
Of pretrial detention? Nah, your trial won't take that many days. Prosecutors will take the quickest route to put you in prison for life, and the trial plus jury deliberations will be a week, tops.
— Eric Garland (@ericgarland) January 21, 2021
Lots of indictments will occur during this time, Pumpkin.
— Cheri Jacobus (@CheriJacobus) January 21, 2021
Fuck yourself, traitor.
— Dennis Perkins (@DennisPerkins5) January 21, 2021
… until you never become president
— Jeff Tiedrich (@itsJeffTiedrich) January 21, 2021
Give it up dude.
You'll never be President pic.twitter.com/Wv2pB8b3NR
— Shane 🏴☠️ #FBR 🏳️🌈 (@egheitasean) January 21, 2021
Days without the president dry-humping a flag: 2
— Jerry 🍨 (@js_edit) January 21, 2021
You’ll never be president. Give it up, Mike.
— Republicans against Trumpism (@RpsAgainstTrump) January 21, 2021
Is that how long the person you have locked in your basement has left to live?
— 💀DeathMetalViking💀 (@DeathMetalV) January 21, 2021
Until you're still not president?
— Rachel Vindman (@natsechobbyist) January 21, 2021
Days until your next Twinkie? Good luck man. It get's tough as we get older.
— Jeremy Newberger (@jeremynewberger) January 21, 2021
Not a long enough prison sentence for all of you Turd Reich henchmen, dude.
— Lesley Abravanel (@lesleyabravanel) January 21, 2021
This is just sad.
— Fred Wellman (@FPWellman) January 21, 2021
Can't wait to see what the Biden administration releases to us regarding your last 4 years.
— Survivingnsweatpants (@Mominsweats) January 21, 2021
Until Joe Biden is re-elected.
— TrumpsTaxes (@TrumpsTaxes) January 21, 2021
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