The annual circus of psychopaths and billionaires known as the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) descended on Orlando, Florida this week to engage in the collective delusion that the Republican Party still stands for something other than plutocracy and bigotry. In any traditional sense, the GOP is no longer “conservative” because it clearly doesn’t stand for fiscal responsibility, family values, law and order, or national security. It’s a Trump cult and whatever half-formed ideas tumble from the disgraced former president’s mouth is what the party chooses to believe in.
Senator Ted Cruz has aspirations of one day wresting the leadership of this cruel, evil party from the former game show host and becoming president himself so he made sure to secure himself a prime speaking spot at CPAC. The Texas senator faces an uphill battle to claim the 2024 nomination after the recent massive scandal he brought down on his own head by trying and failing to sneak covertly off to Cancun while his state was hit with deadly winter storms and mass power outages. In their moment of dire need, Cruz abandoned his constituents. Somehow he’ll have to regain voters’ trust and judging by his performance today he has no idea how to do that.
While delivering a speech full of conservative platitudes and insincere celebrations of freedom Cruz took a moment to joke about his Cancun debacle, an ill-advised attempt to put the incident behind him that only succeeded in making it look like he still doesn’t understand the severity of his mistake.
“Orlando is awesome! It’s not as nice as Cancun…” said Cruz, to some weak laughter and applause.
As if the bad joke wasn’t enough, Cruz ended his speech with a nasally, high-pitched yell for “FREEDOM,” which can’t be unheard. He was trying to channel William Wallace of Braveheart fame but sounded much more akin to Howard Dean’s infamous “YAHHH!” This man is never going to be president, especially not with the Trump children waiting in the wings to launch political careers of their own, and the sooner he realizes that the sooner he can stop objecting us to his embarrassing behavior.
.@tedcruz: "2022 is going to be a fantastic election year and so is 2024 as we stand together and defend liberty, defend the Constitution and defend the Bill of Rights. In the immortal words of William Wallace, FREEDOM!" pic.twitter.com/0eJheDgKXA
— The Hill (@thehill) February 26, 2021
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