While Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) has seemingly dedicated his life to dividing the American people in the name of hyperpartisan zealotry, he has the unenviable distinction of managing to unite both right and left in their shared disgust of him.
So much so that the former Republican Speaker of the House, John Boehner, hid a very profane special message for Ted Cruz at the end of his memoirs about his time in Washington, which apprently were mostly spent drinking at work, crying, and stomping cigarette ash into his office rug.
When @SpeakerBoehner was recording his audiobook I was told by sources that during these wine-soaked sessions he would deviate from the book’s text and insert random violent attacks on @tedcruz. Well, here’s some tape (listen to the end): pic.twitter.com/NFCQ2QFdTT
— Jonathan Swan (@jonathanvswan) April 2, 2021
Boehner’s hatred for Cruz is well-documented at this point; in the past, he has referred to him as “Lucifer in the flesh!” and quipped that “I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”
Indeed, Cruz is infamous for being abrasive, obnoxious, and insufferably self-righteous — in addition to being a disgraceful coward who licked Trump’s boots after he publicly insulted Cruz’s wife and a clown for attempting to sneak away to Cancun while his state huddled in the frozen darkness of an unprecedented ice storm.
He’s a man who once told his friend that her mother was a hell-bound whore for having an abortion because she couldn’t afford more children. He played a huge role in perpetuating the horrific lie that Planned Parenthood “harvests baby parts” and incited his supporters to violence against the beloved healthcare organization, then tried to dismiss the Colorado Springs Planned Parenthood shooter as a “transgender leftist.” Terrified of human sexuality, he once tried to ban sex toys in Texas and argued there was no legitimate reason for masturbation.
Ted Cruz has spent his entire life making the lives of others harder, shaming them for their natural desires, and is willing to sacrifice the well-being of millions for his own personal ambitions. There really aren’t any words that can properly describe just what an reprehensible degenerate he truly is, and we heartily join the former Speaker in his words for Cruz.
Though Boehner can go f*ck himself too — we still remember what he did during the Obama years.
Opinion columnist and former editor-in-chief of Occupy Democrats. He graduated from Bennington College with a Bachelor's degree in history and political science. He now focuses on advancing the cause of social justice and equality in America.