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Paging Dr. Freud: Tucker Carlson devotes entire segment to Hunter Biden’s penis

Paging Dr. Freud: Tucker Carlson devotes entire segment to Hunter Biden’s penis

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The nation knows that when it needs hard-hitting analysis of the biggest issues we face today, we can always turn to FOX News’ Tucker Carlson. When he’s not openly promoting the kind of rhetoric you’d find on neo-Nazi websites, he’s investigating critical subjects like, uh, “gypsies in America,” Barbara Streisand’s dog, aggressive pandas, and the men’s bathroom at Penn Station.

Last night, Carlson continued his quest to provide hard journalism for the people of America with an in-depth discussion on the First Son Hunter Biden’s penis and all the fun things he does with it.

The right-wing has been obsessed with Hunter Biden ever since his father became the Democratic nominee for president, obsessing over Hunter’s obviously insincere and half-hearted attempts at putting on the facade of a “businessman” and delighting in clutching their pearls over the troubled man’s use of drugs and sex to try to grapple with the depression and grief that comes from watching nearly your entire family die in horrible ways.

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In their repulsive efforts to smear the Biden family, unseen forces and paparazzi have obtained numerous photographs and videos of Hunter Biden engaging in admittedly greasy but otherwise fairly benign sex acts with consenting women, and right-wingers like Tucker have reacted with eye-rolling pretend shock and horror at the idea of anyone having anything other than vanilla sex in the missionary position for the purpose of procreation within the bonds of matrimony.

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Funnily enough, there was never any of this kind of reaction when Donald Trump was being credibly accused of sexually assaulting literally dozens of women, nor when he was caught on tape openly admitting to sexually assaulting women. There’s never been any in-depth examination of the outrageous corruption that Donald Trump Jr. and his brother Eric have gotten up to in their “management” of the Trump Organization but endless discussion of the job that Hunter was given on the board of a Ukrainian energy company that he clearly was given as an attempt to give him something to do that wasn’t self-destructive.

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But weirdly enough, the right-wing seems to be fixated on not just Hunter’s behavior, but his manhood itself.

Wonder why that is?

Guess we’ll never know.

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