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Ted Cruz, Republicans have colossal meltdown at Big Bird

Ted Cruz, Republicans have colossal meltdown at Big Bird

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In case you needed any reminder of just how deeply brain-broken the brains of American conservatives are and how literally anything and everything can provoke a howling culture war tantrum, it appears the latest target of the right-wing’s wroth is none other than Big Bird.

That’s right, the beloved Sesame Street muppet bird who towers above all the other denizens of the Street but who somehow is only five years old. Now that the CDC has approved the use of COVID-19 vaccines for children as young as five, Big Bird took to Twitter to celebrate his vaccination and to encourage others to do the same.

Because the professional conservative mediasphere is occupied wholly by enormous babies who are deeply emotionally invested in children’s media, this inevitably sparked a wave of backlash from ostensible grown-ups getting furiously angry at a children’s puppet for promoting commonsense public health policy.

“THEY’RE BRAINWASHING OUR KIDS!” screams the literal same people who are currently trying to remove any accurate depiction of American slavery from school curriculums, sending death threats to school board members, and are forcing kids to recite the Pledge of Allegiance at school every day.

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Leftist Twitter, on the other hand, delighted in the opportunity for some absurdist humor and satire at the expense of the hooting and baying chuds:

Truly, I fear for the future of our country.

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