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LESSER LAUREN: Lauren Boebert SLAMMED for her horrific “Handmaid’s Tale” rhetoric

LESSER LAUREN: Lauren Boebert SLAMMED for her horrific “Handmaid’s Tale” rhetoric

OPINION: Lauren Boebert proves herself to be a Gilead gal through and through with her latest take on women as "lesser vessels."

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ICYMI: Lauren Boebert is dumb.

Lauren Boebert is so dumb, there’s a hashtag on Twitter for it. Lauren Boebert is so dumb, she had to pay someone to take her fourth GED for her. Lauren Boebert is so dumb, she claimed enough mileage on her campaign expense report to circumnavigate the globe several times. Lauren Boebert is so dumb, she thinks we’ve forgotten she tried to assassinate Nancy Pelosi on January 6th or that she has a rap sheet longer than my arm.

None of those are actually funny, because all of them are true. And as we watch the MAGA Republicans subjugate their women, who then try to subjugate other women into being like them, let me once again remind you that this is a cult. They have stopped pretending they care about democracy or humanity. Now it’s full-on depravity disguised as control and delivered wrapped in fearmongering. The difference between the QAnon-MAGA cult and the NXIVM cult is that Keith Raniere didn’t have a government gig. Those sex-fueled orgies Madison Cawthorn talked about were probably 100% real and completely unspectacular. Republicans are such freaks! Too bad nobody ever taught them how to handle their sexual feelings in a healthy way.

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Lauren Boebert is so dumb she threatened to sue a group that dug up a story about her accepting financial compensation for the consensual sharing of her private parts with rich men who were friends with Ted Cruz, but then she never sued that group because…well, Lauren Boebert is so dumb she couldn’t prove they were lying. And now, Lauren Boebert is so dumb that she’s fully embraced the more antiquated messaging that MAGA is pumping out, which is the wee womenfolk need to be in the kitchen, barefoot and constantly pregnant (with white babies only, of course).

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Now, I fully accept that Squeaky is “lesser” than most people and in most of the ways that matter. Anyone who’s cherry-picking both the Bible and the Constitution to push their hate agenda against women is terrible, but it’s so much worse when women are misogynists. Remember Kari Lake vacuuming before Trump arrived? Just, ew.

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I’m a woman who is unmarried and plans to stay that way, and this new MAGA messaging of “Alpha Males” and women as “lesser vessels” certainly reaffirms my choices. I don’t know why these people are so scared to think for themselves, but I can’t think of one man in Squeaky’s phone contacts that I would consider worthy of directing to a public toilet, let alone give up my independence. GROSS.

Tara Dublin is a woefully underappreciated and unrepresented writer currently shopping a super cool novel that has nothing to do with politics while also fighting fascism on the daily.

Follow her on Twitter @taradublinrocks.

Editor’s note: This is an opinion column that solely reflects the opinions of the author.

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Tara Dublin
Tara is a reported opinion columnist at Occupy Democrats. She's a woefully underappreciated and unrepresented writer currently shopping for a super cool novel that has nothing to do with politics while also fighting fascism on a daily. Follow her on Twitter @taradublinrocks

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