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MERRY MAGA: A new Qristmas album for the best worst people on your list

MERRY MAGA: A new Qristmas album for the best worst people on your list

MERRY MAGA: A new Qristmas album for the best worst people on your list

Yes, Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin, there is a Santa Qlaus, because you willfully obtuse MAGA elves will literally believe anything.

Even the Qraziest of MAGAts celebrate the virgin birth of the baby Jeebus on the randomly chosen day of December 25th who is also somehow his own father and died and came back to life to shame his friends for abandoning him.

Or something.

But guns and presents and guns as presents!

And a reason to shoot something to cook and eat!

“You’ll shoot your eyes out, kids!”

It just wouldn’t be an Uncool Yule without the proper soundtrack, though.

If you’re stuck on a last-minute gift for that grifted Trumper you’re unfortunately related to, give them the digital gift of music!

KKKTel Records presents A Very MAGA Qristmas (Volume 1)!

You’ll love these new versions of holiday classics sung by your favorite MAGA members of the GQP!

Here’s the track list for what’s destined to become a holiday staple for the MAGA sheeple!

  1. Do They Know It’s Griftmas?–Disband Aid
  2. “Santa Anchor Baby“–Melania Trump
  3. “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus and Also a Whole Bunch of Other Guys” — Marjorie Taylor Greene‘s Wee Three Teens
  4. “Baby, It’s Cold Outside (So Let’s Pack a Little Wheelie Bag & Head to Cancun” —Ted Cruz
  5. “All I Want For Christmas Is No More Jews”–Paul Gosar
  6. “Run, Run, Rudolph (Because I Have An AR-15)”–Lauren Boebert
  7. “Little Drummer Girl/Little Saint Nicki/Thank Heaven For Little Girls” mashup–Matt Gaetz
  8. “White Nationalist Christmas”–Kari Lake 
  9. “Back the Blue Christmas”–John Cornyn
  10. “Wrestlin’ Around the Christmas Tree”–Jim Jordan

Don’t delay! Call 1-800-GRIFT-ME to order your copy now!

Tara Dublin
Tara is a reported opinion columnist at Occupy Democrats. She's a woefully underappreciated and unrepresented writer currently shopping for a super cool novel that has nothing to do with politics while also fighting fascism on a daily. Follow her on Twitter @taradublinrocks

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