SUCCESSION: Mitch McConnell concussion stirs rumors of retirement
Earlier this month, 81-year-old Senate Minority Leader Mitch “Slow and Steady Wins the Racist” McConnell (R-KY via a turtle hatchery) took a spill at an event at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in Washington DC and ended up briefly hospitalized with a concussion as well as a minor rib fracture.
McConnell is still recuperating at his old Kentucky home, adding to speculation that he may just up and retire from Congress altogether.
On a call to his fellow GOP Senators, McConnell let them know how “eager” he is to return to his usual obstruction duties while continuing to heal from his fall.
His colleagues who spoke with the press all stayed on the same exact message: “Moscow” Mitch (ok fine, those are my words) is “getting stronger and better” and is “anxious to return” to work.
Sounds vaguely “The Dear Leader is always right”-ish to me, but that’s on brand for Putin’s puppets, considering they’re all worried about kompromat.
The MAGA Republicans in the Senate really do need him back, because they’re all hopping mad and shell-shocked these days thanks to the impending Trump indictments.
Democrats wouldn’t benefit from a McConnell retirement anyway, because thanks to his home state homophobes and others in the Kentucky GOP, the (currently Democratic) Governor’s abilities to fill any vacancies have been severely restricted due to a bill called SB228.
I’d bet a whole lot of Kentucky bluegrass that they’d overturn their votes for SB228 faster than a Derby winner — which was GASP 100% McConnell’s idea — if Gov. Andy Beshear were to be replaced by a Republican.
Twitter would rather Mitch just call it a career at this point as the same Trumpocrites who make ageist comments about President Joe Biden are still backing the Turtle AND the Hair.
One of the chief architects of this intellectual and economic dystopia is the senior senator from Kentucky, Mitch McConnell. pic.twitter.com/2lhSYckiqO
— Brian J. Karem (@BrianKarem) March 16, 2023
Glad Senator John Fetterman is doing so well, but worth noting the same people who demanded minute by minute updates on his health are awfully quiet about Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell’s health status post-concussion.
— Kaivan Shroff (@KaivanShroff) March 18, 2023
After a stroke John Fetterman is experiencing daily calls for more info about his health and demands from the GOP for his resignation.
Mitch McConnell fell, has a concussion and a broken rib with no set time to return to his job and the GOP are silent.#Fresh#GOPHypocrisy pic.twitter.com/eGQpFmOt89
— Feisty is proud to be a Democrat! (@FeistyLibLady) March 19, 2023
Follow Tara Dublin on Twitter @taradublinrocks.
Editor’s note: This is an opinion column that solely reflects the opinions of the author.
