ADMISSION: Santos confesses in Brazil fraud case!!!
Freshman Rep. George “Anthony Devolder Zabrovsky Kitara Ravache Jingleheimer Schmidt” Santos (R-NY-ish) has never said a single truthful thing while being cultivated and harvested as a full-on MAGA plant, but now the clock has run out on at least one of his many grifts.
Brazilian prosecutors — who clearly work a whole lot faster than the American judicial system or any Congressional committee — have agreed to a deal with Georgie Porgie regarding a 2008 case in which he was accused of defrauding a Rio de Janeiro area clerk of $1,300 over clothes and shoes.
No word on whether they were the same shoes that Santos claimed were stolen from him at “55th and 5th Avenue” in New York, but Miz Kitara is going to confess to the crime.
“And I grifted you…and you…and YOU!”
A petition from Santos’ attorney, which was filed in January, requested a deal for his client to “agree to formally confess to the crime and pay damages to the victim,” as required under Brazilian law.
Prosecutors also asked the defense last week for assurances they have “the ability to contact the victim to repay him” before the deal is finalized.
But let’s not get too terribly excited over this: Santos’ attorney requested a “non-prosecutorial agreement” instead of an embarrassing public trial for his client, whom he described as “gainfully employed and re-socialized.”
GURL, NO.
Georgie Boy’s lawyer also requested permission for Santos to be contacted by the court via email or phone, and participate in the proceedings via videoconference instead of being extradited to Brazil.
So don’t expect Kitara to do a perp twerk walk just yet, because why should there be any real consequences for MAGA’s Mr. Ripley Ripoff?
Pathetic.
Their whole house of cards is going to come tumbling down as Santos clears his name. You will all be apologizing soon! pic.twitter.com/EoWFj3xkVa
— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) March 23, 2023
The fact that Santos’ lying ass still fills a seat, and that the party has universally embraced said ass, is the whole story of today’s GOP in a nutshell.
— Michael McKean (@MJMcKean) March 24, 2023
https://twitter.com/BethT79/status/1639297740000702469?s=20
Tara Dublin is a woefully underappreciated and unrepresented writer currently shopping a super cool novel that has nothing to do with politics while also fighting fascism on the daily.
Follow her on Twitter @taradublinrocks.
Editor’s note: This is an opinion column that solely reflects the opinions of the author.
