GOP: Where bidding on McCarthy’s Chapstick is more important than the debt ceiling
House Republicans reached deeply into their pockets for a fundraising auction during a leadership conference on Tuesday.
Literally.
In an unusual attempt to fortify their 2024 campaign coffers, the QAnon Qaucus was incited to bid on anything they could come up with to raise money for themselves.
While a full list of auction items wasn’t available at press time, we know that “Weaker Speaker” Kevin McCarthy’s used tube of Wild Cherry Chapstick went for a cool $100,000.
Politico’s Olivia Beavers tweeted that the lucky winning bidder was none other than KKKevin’s new owner, Rep. Marjorie Taylor “Soon to Be Glenn Instead Of” Greene, who’s estimated to be worth $11 million.
The same MAGA Mean Girl who won’t stop trying to impeach Joe Biden while complaining about “Democrat spending” (probably) bought herself a nice in with McCarthy’s donors as she openly auditions to be Trump’s VP.
It’s not yet known if Marge used the money that she inherited from her Daddy, the greenery she grifts from her MAGA base, or if she dipped into her taxpayer-funded salary.
But this latest MAGA mishegoss is just another example of how far the standards have fallen for our politicians.
They’re ducking negotiations on the debt ceiling but bidding for lip balm buoyed their bankrolls.
They’re scapegoating the LGBTQ+ community and drag queens while Trumpocritically justifying their own party members’ deep drag pasts.
They’re whining about a non-existent “woke mind virus” while pushing propaganda to prevent the population from being educated.
Thankfully, Democrats know how to make/get the best of all MAGA messes and turn them into teachable moments.
Not long after the audacious auction was announced, Rep. Jim McGovern (D-MA) took to the House floor and called out the GOP for trying to expand work requirements for those seeking food assistance.
“Maybe if Speaker McCarthy weren’t so busy auctioning off his used chapstick for $100,000, he’d know working families in this country are struggling and need help.”
Now that Marjorie owns his Chapstick along with whatever was left of his already weakened sad excuse of a spine, KKKevin could really use something to soothe his permanently burned puckered lips.
“Maybe if Speaker McCarthy weren't so busy auctioning off his used chapstick for $100,000, he'd know working families in this country are struggling and need help.”
— Rep. Jim McGovern (D-MA) calls out GOP for trying to expand work requirements for those who need food assistance pic.twitter.com/VPCB3EM9FU
— The Recount (@therecount) May 23, 2023
Twitter angrily pointed out the “America First” World privilege of the whole thing, trending “Chaptstick” on Tuesday along with brain-bleach-inducing ideas of its source as well as its potential future use.
-Children Are Being Raped In Church
-Women’s Rights Are Being Stripped Away.
-Trans Genocide
-Homeless Vets.
-Americans Cannot Feed Their Families
-Crops Are Rotting
-Children Are Overdosing On Fentanyl
-Mass Shootings DailyThe GOP Is Auctioning Chapstick Off For $100k pic.twitter.com/eGN6EFlQy7
— M-A.Stay’Legit™️🇨🇦 (@BagdMilkSoWhat) May 23, 2023
They doing this insane chapstick shit while the country teeters on default.
Wild. https://t.co/Q4DOsNOxGd
— Ilhan Omar (@IlhanMN) May 23, 2023
In today's Democratic caucus meeting, we discussed how devastating a default would be for American families and what we can do to get the GOP to take this seriously.
In the House GOP meeting, they auctioned off Kevin McCarthy's used chapstick. https://t.co/qqFPIi1ocL
— Rep. Sean Casten (@RepCasten) May 23, 2023
She still won’t give his balls back tho. pic.twitter.com/lnnv7ZRKHk
— 𝐈𝐠𝐠𝐲🎀 (The Ignious Rock) (@morbidcuriosit9) May 23, 2023
*THIS IS AN OPINION COLUMN THAT SOLELY REPRESENTS THE OPINIONS OF TARA DUBLIN. HOORAY FOR THE FREE PRESS!*
Other hot takes by Tara Dublin can be found on TikTok and Twitter @taradublinrocks.
